After Wilson was born, Caleb and I got in a lot of middle of the night fights. We had to make a rule that anything said between midnight and 5 am didn't count. Because we said some mean things to each other. After being awake for 8 weeks straight it seemed, our sleep deprivation got the best of us. Wilson finally started sleeping better, and I finally took a chill pill. And Caleb and I finally remembered how much we love each other. It was a rough start for us as parents, not rough from sickness or anything bad, just rough from anxiety, and being first time parents, and not sleeping.
It is nothing short of a miracle from God how easy these first few weeks with Wallace have been in the sense of being calm, more relaxed, and the lack of middle of the night fights. I honestly cannot remember a single fight Caleb and I have had this time. It helps to know that the sleepless nights will get better, and if they don't, well, that's just our calling. Being Mommy and Daddy means lots of responsibility, and we are forever grateful for that. Even if it means nursing a baby every 2 hours all night or holding Wilson's hand for 2 hours while he tosses and turns at 3 am. These are sweet, sweet times that we will miss one day.
I hate to admit it, but I almost wished away the first newborn weeks with Wilson because I was so anxious, stressed, and exhausted. I was constantly checking to make sure he was breathing. I thought I would never sleep more than 2 hours at a time. EVER. But now I know how quickly that ends. I know how amazing it is to be able to be Mommy to these precious boys.
Even with breastfeeding. I felt stressed with Wilson that I was the only one who could feed him. And that I HAD to do it every 2-3 hours. Now I know how awesome it is that I am able to feed Wallace. Anytime he wants. It's such a miracle, and I am cherishing every single second with Wallace.
I'm also cherishing every second with Wilson, even the tantrums. Because that kid can give the best hugs. And those smiles. They're killer. I'm pretty sure he could get me to do anything if he just uses those precious lil' eyes and perfect lil' smile. He has the SWEETEST personality, and I love every second I get with him.
I've said it before, and I'll say it again, but I wish I could freeze time. With baby round 2, I am now ten times more aware of how quickly these baby days go. And the toddler days are racing by even faster. So I will rock, hold, cuddle, and hug all day every day if that's what my babies want.
I hope any new mom knows to cherish every.single.second. you have with that firstborn child. (and all of them, but I just didn't realize how quickly it goes the first time)
Lord, thank you for letting me be Mommy. And I pray that Caleb and I remember how dear and precious our 2 boys are, even when they make us sleepy and frustrated ; )